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The Best Decision I’ve Made

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by  Megan Vixie

Ladies, let’s talk about skincare.

    Have you ever felt self-conscious about your complexion? Like if you could change one thing about yourself, you’d change everything? Like you’re the ugly friend?

I know I’ve felt like that.

For a large portion of my adolescence and even in my early adulthood, I felt so much unnecessary turmoil about my appearance. Specifically, my face. I caked on all kinds of makeup with who-knows-what kinds of ingredients. I wanted to hide the flaws and blur the features I was convinced I didn’t like. When nothing changed the way I thought it might, and when imperfections like acne and redness never got better, I felt frustrated. Angry. Disappointed. In the products? Oh, of course not; I was sure the blame was on me. I believed the core problem was that I didn’t look like what I felt beauty should look like. At the end of the day, I could never look like that girl and I was helpless to change that.

Que the big buzzer. I was so, so, very wrong.

It took me a long time to realize that the problem wasn’t me. It was all the junk I was putting on my face without ever asking, “hey, what’s in this stuff?”. When I realized that all the cosmetics I had been buying had ingredients that were terrible for my skin, sensitive skin, I threw it out. All of it. I took a break from makeup and I found skincare that would help the biggest confidence draining problem I had. You guessed it: acne. I discovered an all-natural, cruelty-free brand of skincare with a lot of big promises and great reviews, so I gave it a whirl. You guys, it changed everything for me.

I started going out into the world without layering on all that makeup. I mean, I had to, it was all in the trash (whoops). But let me tell you, as terrifying as it was, I realized that no one seemed to notice or even care. I was the only one worried about it. Day by day, the self-conscious anxiety faded.  

I found myself investing time into taking proper care of my skin. Without the onslaught of chemical abuse I had been putting it through, the redness started to fade. The pimples started shrinking. The breakouts were few and far between. And you know what? All those features that I had wanted so badly to change, I started to appreciate. I fed my face with healthy products, and most importantly, in taking care of it I was acknowledging that it was worth taking care of. I stopped wishing I could be that girl because this girl in the mirror was beautiful too.

When I started wearing makeup again, I only bought products that had healthy, natural, non-irritating ingredients. I started to wear makeup because I wanted to, not because I felt that I had to. I wore makeup to be expressive. I wore makeup knowing I was still beautiful underneath it all.

Changing your cosmetics changes more than just the quality of your makeup or your morning routine. Like many things in life, you get out what you put in. I put nasty chemicals and junk all over my face and felt nasty things about myself. In redirecting that energy to products that were meant to feed and nourish my skin, I was also feeding and nourishing my own confidence. Even in the imperfections and the flaws.

If you’ve ever felt like me, especially if my beginning sounds like your reality, I’m telling you: change the way you see your skincare. Educate yourself on what’s in the products you feed your face. Find products that work for you and invest only in what will nourish and empower your beauty. You don’t have to be that girl. You’re already beautiful, exactly as you are.  

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